Heartbeat
by callieeefornia
Summary: A Harry Potter One-Shot that follows Harry's life being raised by Remus and Sirius instead of the Dursley's. Starts pre-Hogwarts and ends post-Hogwarts. Loosely follows the plot line of the books. ALL CHARACTERS OWNED BY JK ROWLING. Enjoy!


A/N: This is just a one-shot idea that came into my head while writing my other story (go to my author page to check it out, it follows the Harry Potter story from fourth year on with Sirius and Remus as Harry's new guardian's after an incident at the Dursley's). This is obviously an alternate universe in which Sirius and Remus get custody immediately after James and Lily die; however, once Harry starts Hogwarts, it's assumed that the events occur in canon, but I won't go into detail on that in this story. Enjoy! EVERYTHING BELONGS TO JK ROWLING.

Remus Lupin walked into the small cottage he shared with his friend and placed the groceries on the table. It was raining outside, and the thunder rumbled the floor under his feet - the weather, he noticed had really mirrored his mood. He felt upset, lonely, and afraid. However, he speculated that this had less to do with the weather and more to do with his two best friend's deaths a little over a month ago.

He went to the living room to search for his only remaining friend and his heart immediately lifted at the image he saw. Sprawled out on their couch was his best friend, Sirius Black, reading through an old motorcycle magazine. On his chest slept the only child of their late best friends: sweet, young, Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived.

"You know," Remus said, startling his friend a bit, who dropped the magazine on the sleeping baby and looked up. "He'll never want to sleep in his own bed when he's older if you constantly insist that he sleep with you."

Sirius smiled sheepishly at his friend and removed the magazine off of Harry. He patted the black tuft of hair on the baby's head gently. "That's okay, Moony… it helps me more than it helps him."

Remus nodded knowingly and moved to a nearby arm chair to accept the solace of his only remaining school friend and the little baby, left behind by his parents due to the destruction of a war he would never remember.

* * *

Sirius felt the bed dip down as a small weight plopped itself on his mattress. He felt the three year old crawl across the king bed and, as gently as a toddler could, climb on top of Sirius, resting his head on his chest.

Sirius immediately wrapped his arms around the small body securely, causing the boy to giggle. "Good morning Paddy," the sweet voice greeted, lifting his head a little to look into the warm grey eyes of his godfather.

"Good morning puppy. May I ask what you're doing up so early?" Sirius said with a smile, stroking his hand through the boy's hair.

"I gotta go to school today, Paddy, it's the first day!" Harry said eagerly, clearly anticipating meeting new friends in the local preschool.

Despite his happiness that Harry wasn't nervous about his first day, Sirius felt his heart jolt. His sweet little godson was going to be leaving Remus and him for three hours every weekday - it would be the longest amount of time they've been away from each other since they got custody of Harry. Regardless, Sirius beamed at the little boy. "You're absolutely right, whatever was I thinking? Five in the morning is a completely acceptable time to wake up when you've got to be at school at nine! We _have_ to go pick out your nicest play clothes and fix your hair and eat a huge breakfast! Where will we ever find the time?" He finished the dramatization by prodding the boy's rib cage, causing an eruption of giggles.

"Come on pup, we can sleep for at least two more hours," he said, wrapping one arm around the little boy's back and gently placing the other on top of his head, stroking the raven hair.

"I can hear your heartbeat, Paddy," Harry said quietly, snuggling into his godfather's embrace.

"Can you now? Does it have anything interesting to say?" Sirius asked, beginning to doze off again.

Harry giggled again, quieter this time, and allowed himself to lulled to sleep by the steady beating of his godfather's heart.

* * *

Remus watched happily from the front porch of their little cottage, as Sirius chased Harry around on the child's broomstick he had gotten that morning for Christmas. The boy had turned five this year and he had proven to be a true delight - with James's sense of humor and Lily's good heart, he brightened up both Remus and Sirius's worlds. He had also inherited James's quidditch talent, if the child's broomstick was any indication; Harry was swerving and circling around Sirius as if he had been born on a broom.

Remus looked down at the purple bracelet the five year old had given him that morning as a present and smiled. It had three little paper charms hanging off of it, each drawn by Harry. One of the charms was a wolf, one was a stag, and one was a dog, and each of them had big smiles. When Sirius and Remus told Harry stories of the Marauders, they left out Peter, knowing Harry would be curious about his father's third friend. Sure, they would tell him someday, probably around the time of his Hogwarts letter; but for now, the small family was happy without acknowledging the rat. Life was good and easy, and Remus hoped it stayed that way.

Remus watched them until the sun began to set and decided it was about time for Christmas dinner. "Harry, Padfoot, let's go back inside!"

"Awh, Moony!" Both Sirius and Harry yelled back and Remus chuckled. Sirius could be as much of a kid as Harry sometimes, but Remus couldn't deny how good it was for Harry - he loved playing with his godfather, and Sirius always made himself available to spend time with him.

Now that Harry was in primary school and Sirius and Remus worked, it became harder to find family time, but three still managed to do it and that time became some of Remus's most cherished moments.

Sirius grabbed the toy broomstick from Harry and said "race you," before taking off back to the house, Harry at his heels. By the time they reached Remus, Sirius was barking laughter and Harry was thoroughly out of breath.

"Ready to eat, cub?" Remus asked, patting Harry on the shoulder as they walked back inside. Harry nodded vigorously and the two men smiled.

"Come on, puppy, let's go get washed up while Remus finishes setting the table." Sirius said, grabbing the small boy's hand and leading him down the hallway.

When they returned, they contented themselves with a small feast of lamb meat, mashed potatoes, and Harry's favorite treacle tart. Sirius kept glancing at Remus's bracelet Harry had gifted him, and Remus frowned. Harry adored his godfather, so it was very odd that Harry had chosen to _only_ give Remus a Christmas present this year. Though Sirius hadn't complained about it, Remus had assured him that morning that Harry probably had a surprise for him later. However, the closer it got to bedtime, they were both beginning to have second thoughts about a present from his godson.

After dinner, the three moved to the living room, where Remus sat down in his favorite armchair and Sirius sprawled out on the couch. Sirius looked expectantly back at his godson, waiting for him to crawl onto his chest the way he usually did. When Harry made no move to join him, he grew concerned.

"What's wrong puppy? Do you want to play a game or something?" Sirius asked, sitting up.

Harry looked a little worried about something, but shook his head nonetheless. He was grasping something in his hands behind his back and he slowly approached his godfather, his bottom lip trembling.

Sirius knitted his brow and picked the boy up to sit in his lap. "What's wrong? Was the treacle tart _that_ bad? I admit I'm not the best chef in the world," he said, poking Harry lightly in the tummy.

This caused a little smile to form on the boy's face, but it didn't last long. Finally, the boy took one big breath and handed a framed picture to Sirius. "I-I made you this, Paddy. I've been working on it in school everyday, but I-I wasn't sure if you'd like it. Mrs. Williams helped me frame it. Do you like it?"

The drawing was very large, colorful, and detailed for a five year old - it was a picture of Sirius and Harry in front of the Marauder's cottage (as Remus and Sirius had lovingly coined their home). Harry had even drawn Sirius's flying motorcycle in the yard and their family owl on the roof. The picture had a small neat caption on the bottom, which Sirius assumed Harry's teacher helped him write. It read "PADFOOT and PUPPY."

Sirius beamed at his nervous godson and pulled him in for a big hug. "I love it so much, Harry, thank you."

"Are you sure?" A small, muffled voice asked through the embrace.

Sirius nodded and kissed the top of the boy's head. "It's one of the best presents I've ever received."

Remus watched as Sirius placed the picture on the table in front of them, then readjusted himself so he was lying back on the couch and Harry was cuddled up on top of him, head resting on his godfather's chest. He smiled at the two of them, then turned his attention to the Christmas movie on the muggle television they had bought a few years ago, feeling very content.

* * *

"Youngest seeker in a century, already had a detention in the Forbidden Forest, received your father's invisibility cloak, _and_ saved the Sorcerer's Stone. As terrifying as the last occurrence was, I'm so proud of you puppy… but let's try and have a more peaceful year next year? I practically had a heart attack when Dumbledore told me exactly what happened!" Sirius exclaimed, placing the trunk down on the floor of Harry's bedroom.

Harry grinned at his godfather sheepishly. "Sorry Padfoot… but I'm okay now!" As if to prove this, Harry ran and leapt on top of his gryffindor colored bedspread (which he had owned since he was six, despite not knowing his Hogwarts house until this past year) and started jumping up and down.

Sirius smiled and sat down on the edge of the bed, grabbing one of Harry's ankles as he did so, and causing the boy to fall down beside him. "You heard Madam Pomfrey, you need to take it easy for a few weeks."

Harry pouted at his godfather. "Since when did you get boring? I wonder if Moony's feeling good, maybe he'll want to have some fun."

Sirius feigned hurt. "Boring? Your young, handsome, and talented godfather is _not_ boring, puppy. However…" Sirius had a mischievous smile on his face as he leapt forward and pinned his godson down. "You clearly are in no state to be doing anything energetic. Look at you, can't even pin me down." He said with mirth as Harry struggled to get out of his grasp.

Harry pouted again, though his eyes were full of laughter. "This isn't fair, you're bigger than me."

Sirius smiled and ruffled his godson's hair before getting off of him and sitting back up on the edge of the bed. "And it's going to stay that way for a little while. So seeing that your intelligent godfather has proven you wrong, I say we both take a well-deserved nap… then maybe we can go flying before Moony makes dinner. How's that sound?"

Harry rolled his eyes, but nodded and flopped back down on the bed. Sirius laid beside him and reached over to pull Harry closer, but Harry grinned and swatted him away. "Padfoot, I'm eleven, almost twelve. What would my quidditch teammate's think if they saw me cuddled up to my godfather?"

Sirius ignored Harry's complaint and pulled him closer anyway. Harry didn't resist the second time, and placed the side of his head against his godfather's chest. "Don't pretend like you don't love old Padfoot. Besides, you've been falling asleep like this since you were born, why should that stop just because you're turning into a rotten teenager?"

Harry swatted at Sirius again, but made no move to leave the protective embrace. He fell into a peaceful sleep, the memories of his first year at Hogwarts fading to the back of his mind as he listened to his godfather's heartbeat.

* * *

"So Peter Pettigrew has completely escaped?" Dumbledore asked Sirius again, frowning.

Sirius nodded, clenching his fists angrily. "I knew his form was a rat, but I can't believe I didn't get a better look at Scabbers the past two years, as often as Ron has visited Harry at our home. I was reckless."

Dumbledore shook his head. "You mustn't blame yourself Sirius, Harry is alive and well and that's what matters. What I'm most concerned about is what prompted Pettigrew to attack Harry. From what we've seen, he's had two years to do so… why now?"

Dumbledore looked grave and Sirius knew exactly what he was concerned about. "You fear that… that Voldemort is returning, don't you?"

Dumbledore nodded. "From what we know, Pettigrew is cowardly - it's not in his nature to try and hurt Harry without some incentive, and I'm afraid that, by us letting him escape, we've given Voldemort a new henchman."

Sirius sighed and buried his face in his hands. "I _hate_ him," he said after a moment of attempting to control his rage. "If I ever see him again, I will murder him."

Dumbledore looked at Sirius solemnly. "I trust that, but for now, young Harry needs you. I will keep you posted on anything I hear on the matter, and I've exempted Harry from the rest of his exams this term. You can take him home whenever Madam Pomfrey agrees to release him."

Sirius nodded, thanked Dumbledore, and left the headmaster's office. Once he reached the hospital wing, he saw Remus sitting by Harry's bedside, reading a book. Harry was awake and was playing with his father's old snitch, releasing it and letting it go again, the same way James used to - Sirius felt his heart give a jolt of nostalgia. He walked up to the bed and sat on the edge of it, snatching the snitch out of his godson's reach.

"Hey! Padfoot," Harry said with a laugh, reaching to grab the snitch out his godfather's hand again.

Sirius placed a hand on Harry's shoulder and pushed him back to the bed. "Now, you don't want me to tell Pomfrey you're not resting, do you? I'm sure she would be glad to give you an extra week in here."

Harry looked indignant. "You wouldn't!"

Sirius gave Harry a mischievous smile before putting the snitch in his pocket. Harry huffed and looked down at his lap, appearing to be very upset about something.

Sirius shared a look with Remus, who had now abandoned his reading, and then spoke. "What's with the long face, puppy?"

"That man… that was Peter Pettigrew?" Harry asked, despite being told this multiple times now. "That's who… that's why…" He pointed to his scar, as if unable to voice his true thoughts.

Sirius and Remus both nodded, understanding Harry's train of thought. "It's okay though. We'll find him and he won't hurt you again." Remus said, grabbing Harry's hand.

Harry nodded and leaned back in his pillows.

"Do you want to take a nap before we take you home?" Sirius asked gently, stroking Harry's bangs back.

Harry nodded and grabbed Sirius's hand, pulling him down beside him on the bed.

"Now I didn't say _I_ wanted a nap," Sirius said playfully, putting an arm around Harry's shoulders and pulling him close. Harry didn't respond, but instead laid his head on his godfather's chest and closed his eyes, willing for sleep to come so he could dream of the years before he went to Hogwarts; back when he was little and his biggest problem was how late he could ride his broom in the evenings at the Marauder's Cottage.

* * *

"Harry! Come on, pup, wake up!" Sirius said, frantically shaking his godson's shoulders.

Harry groaned and shot out of his bed at 12 Grimmauld Place, breathing fast and looking around for a source of comfort. After a moment, his eyes registered his concerned godfather sitting in front of him. "Hey," Harry said quietly, blushing from the realization that he was loud enough to wake up Sirius.

Sirius smiled and ruffled his fifteen year old godson's black mop of hair. "Don't be embarrassed. What's wrong? Did the stuffed elf heads give you nightmares?"

Harry chuckled and shook his head. "A v-vision again… from Voldemort."

Sirius nodded. "Do you want to talk about it? Is it any different from the last one?"

Harry shook his head. "No, it's still the same one. The same place I saw Mr. Weasley hurt." He choked out the last part, still feeling guilty about that particular vision.

"Hey, come on, we've talked about that. What you saw was not your fault, you aren't becoming bad. Okay puppy?" Sirius asked gently, putting a hand on Harry's shoulder.

Harry nodded, though he still appeared unsure.

"Do you want to go back to sleep?" Sirius asked. "I can stay with you if you need."

Harry turned to look at Ron, who was sleeping in the bed across from his. He hadn't woken up from Harry's nightmare. Sirius followed his line of vision and smirked. "Embarrassed by your old godfather?"

Harry sighed and shook his head. "No, I guess not. I want you to stay… but if Ron wakes up tomorrow and asks, you've lost it in the head and thought this was your room."

Sirius barked laughter and playfully shoved Harry. "I guess that will depend on which one of us wakes up first to tell the story then, won't it? Come on."

Sirius laid down beside Harry and placed an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. Harry felt his own pulse calm as he listened to the beat of his godfather's heart, one of the only things that he found calmed him down in any situation.

* * *

Harry screamed and cried. He kicked the bedposts, he punched the walls. He wanted to get out of Hogwarts, run away, never come back. How could he come back when his main source of strength, hope, and happiness, was gone?

He fell onto his bed, desperately wishing Sirius was beside him, ready to pull him against his chest so he could listen to his heartbeat; but he would never hear that familiar rhythmic pattern again. Sirius was gone, had fallen through the veil, left Harry, forever.

Harry grew angry again, thrashing against his bed covers, at the foreboding quietness that surrounded him in his dorm. He desperately wanted to be alone, but at the same time, needed the company of someone, anyone.

As if on cue, Remus ran through his dorm door and spotted Harry immediately. "Oh, Harry," he said quietly, walking over to the bed.

"Leave me alone," Harry croaked out, grabbing for the stuffed dog his godfather had given him when he was little; at this reminder of Sirius, he threw the stuffed dog across the room angrily and placed his head back in his pillow.

"You don't want to be alone," Remus said, leaning against Harry's four poster. Truth be told, Remus felt like behaving the same way Harry was; however, Harry needed him right now, so his own self-pity would have to wait.

"Yes, I do… I deserve it," Harry finally said, feeling as if a burden was being lifted off his chest from the confession. "I'm the reason he's gone! If I had just learned occlumency, he would still be here… I wouldn't be alone!"

"Harry," Remus said gently, taking Harry's confession as a small form of acceptance and sitting down beside him. "You're not alone and it's most certainly not your fault." He pulled Harry into a tight hug and started to rock him.

"Besides," Remus started again after a moment of quieting Harry. "You remember what Sirius used to say, don't you? Whenever you would get upset and miss your mum and dad? The one's that love us never really leave us. He loved you dearly, and he's right here, in your heart." Remus placed a hand on Harry's chest and Harry felt himself choke out another sob. He couldn't keep talking about Sirius right now, he felt as if he were suffocating. He wrapped his arms around Remus's neck and buried his face against his chest, searching for the sound of a heartbeat. When he found it, he felt himself begin to calm a miniscule amount. It wasn't his godfather's heartbeat, but it _was_ his Uncle Moony's, and that would keep Harry going until he felt capable of moving forward of his own accord - until he could hear his godfather's name again without having his own heart shatter into a million pieces.

* * *

"James Sirius Potter," Harry said, hugging the newborn baby to his chest and urging his godson, Teddy Lupin to come closer. "This is your god-brother, Ted."

The little boy with sandy blonde hair smiled and then attempted to change his features to mimic Harry's. Harry smiled at the six year old and lifted him onto his lap while balancing his son in his other arm. Teddy leaned against Harry's chest and looked at the small baby.

"He's little," the boy said conversationally. "Why did you name him that?"

"James was my dad that passed away when I was a baby. Sirius was my godfather that raised me with your dad. I've talked to you about them some… I miss them both a lot." Harry said, pulling both children closer to him.

Teddy nodded and leaned against Harry for a while, content at watching the small newborn.

After a few minutes of sitting in silence, Teddy yawned and pressed his head against Harry's chest. "I can hear your heartbeat," Teddy mumbled, shutting his eyes and snuggling into his godfather's embrace. Harry felt his heart clench at his godson's words.

 **After a moment of collecting himself, he smiled down at the sleeping boy in his arms. "Can you now?" He whispered gently, feeling tears sting his eyes. "Does it have anything interesting to say?"**


End file.
